Yinka's Muse: 2019

Letter to my Older Self

March 30, 2019

Dear Self,

It’s being an awesome journey coming, I mean can you even begin to imagine.

If I had told you that the things you worried about in the past will eventually be a thing forgotten, would you have believed me?

Can you remember when you worried about getting a jelly shoe in primary school, almost all your classmates had one and you wanted one also. You didn’t eventually get one but that season passed and then you moved on to worrying about other things, like getting into the university, making sure you passed that course or found that paper, hoping that boy would notice you or just having money in your account that we see you through the day but all that has changed now because with each level of growth comes its own set of worries.

All I’m trying to tell you is that you should give yourself time, we both know that you worry too much even about things that are yet to surface and at this new stage of your life you will be having new things on your radar, things seeking your attention but you must remember to breathe.

Oluwayimika, you’re a dreamer and that in itself is not a bad thing but learn to smell the roses. I can’t tell you enough how many times you will get disappointed, get your heart broken, fall in love, get that raise, excel at something, be promoted, do something new, go on an adventure or do so many other amazing things because you yourself have had a share of these things and more but one thing I will tell you is this, give yourself time even as you go through all these different phases.

The expectations you will set for yourself as you go higher will not become lesser but rather go higher so also will be the expectations that others will place on you but you must remember that only your decisions and that of God count.

On this wonderful day of ours, I would like you to remember that you’re the Father’s daughter and that he has loved you with an everlasting love, a kind that does not finishes, that you’re made and soaked with love… So even as you enter into a place and season of abundance, I want you to remember this.

Happy Birthday Darling💓

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drama

This Thing Called Love

March 18, 2019

He wrapped his arms around me as if he was holding on to me for dear life, I didn’t care much about the spooning only that I wanted to get up from the bed and leave before he wakes up. The sex was great, there was no denying the fact but that was one of the thrills that came with a one-night stand, have great sex and move on, no time for spooning. I decided to wait a while so that he could sleep more deeply before I would get up, perhaps a little cuddling wouldn’t hurt anyone.

I got up from the bed at exactly 4:30 am, this dude was probably going to sleep till 10:00 am since it was the weekend and there was no need to rush anywhere, I hurriedly wore my pants as I watched the guy sleeping peacefully on the bed through the mirror, he laid with his face down revealing his perfectly shaped butt, these days I only go to the club or lounge when I have an itch that needs to be itched, a girl gat to do what she has to and thankfully there are always guys who are ready to help with my sexual fix.

I brushed my hair still watching him, I can't even explain what came over me, I never follow one-night stand to their homes, I usually insist on hotels, hotels that were most time picked by me but somehow I have followed this guy, omo! You get mind o I said to myself, what if the guy has turned out to be a serial killer or kidnapper, Lagos was too volatile not to be careful, it came with the territory. I made a solemn promise under my breath not to be carried away by the itch to follow a stranger home next time but the question going through my mind was this guy sleeping peacefully on his bed, how can you bring a complete stranger home and after filling each other up, go to bed naked as if you’re the only one at home.

This guy was definitely not as paranoid as I was, I finished brushing my hair, grabbed the rest of my things, took one look at his room, climbed the flight of stairs down to his living room and stepped out into the cold, my uber was waiting.

The weeks following were hectic and crazy at work, my schedule didn’t give me time to mingle with guys to get to the relationship stage except for one-night pick-ups, call it what you like, this love thing wasn’t for everybody and I had quickly resigned my fate especially since I had tried my hands in the relationship department a couple of times, so instead of banging my head at a door that will not open, I chose the other route.

The summer period was fast approaching, this was one of my happiest moments in the year apart from Christmas, I and my friends would pick any of our favorite places or places we have been longing to explore and visit there during the summer. Last year we visited Medina of Marrakesh in Morocco, this year the goal was to visit Bali, we had seen a lot of pepper dem and breathtaking pictures on Instagram and we couldn’t wait to explore the city and also take pictures that will last a lifetime. Our calendars were marked and our flight was booked ahead, we had started counting down already, this break was needed and well deserved seeing how hard we worked our asses in our various professional fields.

I, Tope, Remy, and Maves chatted loudly as we chilled at the airport waiting for our flight. We had arrived early to beat the Lagos traffic so as to avoid stories that touch the heart. We sat at the lounge with our drinks and caught up on what's been going on in our lives because our busy schedules didn’t permit us to see and hang out as often as we would have loved besides money must be made at all cost.

Tope talked about work and how her parents won’t stop badgering her about getting married, there was actually a guy in the picture but Tope wasn’t too sure about his intentions and if they will even make it to the altar, so she still considered herself single when out with the girls, we had advised her to call it quit with the guy, I mean there’s no point in being with someone when you don’t know where it will lead too but her reply was always at least I get a steady carrot stick whenever the itch comes.

Remy, on the other hand, was bisexual, of course, we were the only ones that knew about it. Nigeria was not ready for sexual fluidity yet which was Remy’s thing but she was lucky on the other hand, she had the blue passport so she could always port if perhaps she found love in the hands of a woman but gosh, I will miss her if that happens, Remy knew how to light up a room and was the life of a party. While Maves & I talked about work, there was actually nothing going on in our love department except for the fact that unlike Remy, our love for the carrot was profound.

We arrived in Bali and just looking at the scenery alone swept me off my feet, this was the kind of place you come with a lover and even though the country of Indonesia might be conservative in a way, the exotic places in the city of Bali was created in a way to make the explorer enjoy their stay, every niche of this city was done to suit the needs of the different explorers visiting, whether you were an adventurer who wanted to swing between two tall trees in the desert, go bungee jumping or just lie in the sun enjoying the beautiful sceneries.

The architectural designs were also top-notch, it makes you wonder if Nigeria will ever take advantages of its beach environs thereby making it into a tourist attraction.

I’m sure the business idea of this place was made with lovers and adventurers alike in mind, I allowed my eyes to scout the area and I could see many places to have quickies and climax in the corner of my mind, I secretly grew envious of the lovers we saw around, having someone special to explore this beautiful city with is not a bad idea but at least I had my girls with me.

After the usual lounging in the sun and living for the gram, Remy had heard about a club were tourist lovers usually visit and we all knew it was time to get our freak on.

I wore a yellow dress with a low-neckline, brought out my FRO to play and paired it up with a gold sandal and dropping earrings, my girls were of course melanin dripping as we headed for the club, Remy would always say what’s the point of a vacation trip without some foreign sex.

I twirled, danced, twerked and shaked my butt till my waist and feet hurts, my girls had already found partners to mingle with for the night or perhaps for the rest of our vacation, I walked to the bar to order a drink when I felt a gentle tap on my shoulders, I turned and it was the guy I had a one-night stand with at his house, looking down at me and smiling.

I would have whatever the young lady is having he spoke to the barman.

I mean what are the odds, I returned the smile as he stretched out his hand, taking a seat for himself beside me, he said again, I didn’t catch the name the last time with a smug on his face.

***

I never gave out my real names whenever I went to the club with the intent of going to get the cure to the itch, I’m sure I must have given him a name that night we met but I couldn’t even remember, maybe I should give him another fake name I thought to myself but the way he was smiling expecting an answer from me I was so sure he remembered the name I mentioned the last time.

So, I blurted out I think it’s best we don’t start with names here, the last time I told you my name, I ended up in your bed, which was exciting and exhilarating he quickly added, I was thinking I would make you breakfast in the morning but you were already gone when I woke up.

I take it, you don’t do spooning? he asked.

Well, I don’t do spooning with strangers, those things stir up feelings that are just laying low, I replied. Hmm, interesting.

As he rambled on, all I could think of what were the odds of us meeting again. He clearly wanted to know all about me because he kept asking questions that I was not giving any answers too. So, I switched the topic and asked for his name which he clearly didn’t tell me, he used the excuse I gave him but then he added a clause, you can ask me any other thing though, new city, new rules.

We left the bar and walked towards the beach not far from us was a fireside that served to keep us warm and I allowed the questions to start reeling out and he answered everything not directing anything back to me. He told me he travelled to Indonesia for business and some of his business partners had mentioned this cool place and he decided to visit, he also mentioned that he wasn’t going to be in town for a long while as he had to travel to another country on business but would check back on me in Bali if I was still around.

I can’t remember falling asleep on his legs, all I know is that he woke me up that the day was beginning to break, I must have fallen asleep as he spoke with me. My hotel wasn’t too far from the club, so he drove me there and walked me to my room with a promise to check back on me but not before exchanging numbers.

Immediately, my head hit the bed I fell asleep all those talks with the drinks we had just made me want to sleep.

Around noon, I woke up to the ramblings of my friends as they shared their various escapades and adventures,

I laughed as they shared and thought to myself that it wasn’t a bad idea living vicariously through the experiences of my friends but I knew it was about to short-lived as they turned to me and asked how my night went and who I spent it with, my night wasn’t as adventurous as theirs but they listened with rapt attention, by the time I was done they all kept silent for a while and then the questions started flowing in a rush.

Are you sure is not a stalker?

What does he do?

Is he into you?

Sounds like he is into you?

Do you like him?

Are you sure it’s not the sex, that’s confusing him?

As the questions poured out, more of which I didn’t have answers to all I could hear was concern laid in their voice, these girls loved me, no doubt but for now, there was nothing to be concerned about.

***

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Article

Dear Singles,

February 07, 2019

Dear Singles,

I know its that time of the month where lovers won’t let you hear a word. It’s that time where everywhere you turn too something lovey-dovey is been advertised and talked about and it practically feels as if there’s no way of escape.

Chances are if you’re a commuter, the songs that will be jamming on your favourite radio channels are love songs, your favorite series too wont spare you neither will movies been released into the cinemas spare us, these people are set to put us in our feelings whether we like it or not, their major aim is to make our heart go turnioniown 😅😅😆.

Your friends too won’t make it easy either…Tobi and Folake who you think is still single and will probably be people to hang around with during this period are already making plans to go on getaway trips with boos you’re not aware off, even Deji and Biola that you think don’t have girlfriends have also chosen to do right by the girls in their lives and so are already making plans.

Well, I have come to let you know that this too shall pass 😂😀, and even though love is a beautiful thing refuse to be intimidated by all the lovey-dovey going on around.

Stay true to yourself, don’t give in to that boy advances all in the name of Valentine and Mr. man don’t let that girl sway you either, you both know you don’t like yourself that much, so please spare us the drama of listening to your sobby stories after valentine.

Remember, it is okay to take your time till it happens instead of catching feelings up and down.

And, it’s not a bad idea to splurge on yourself by taking yourself out, join a group of strangers to travel and explore a city, wining and dining in the restaurant of your choice or even buying that gift you have been eyeing for a while, you can even top it up by writing a love note to yourself, reminding yourself how awesome you are, declaring to whoever needs to know that you’re worthy of love and affection.

However, if you’re not still sold out to the idea of doing all of the above, you can as well cook jollof rice, drink coke or baileys, binge on your favourite series and sleep.

Na single you single, you no kill anybody. 😂😂😂

Image credit:- Google

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Business

Finding Your Niche

January 16, 2019

It’s almost 2 weeks into the new year and the 16^th day in the month of January which means the year is still practically new and becoming so Happy New Year!

With the year breaking forth into various things and the promises of a better year ahead, I feel it is important to remind ourselves that amidst setting goals and making resolutions it is of great importance to find our niche this year in every area of our lives and grow there.

Finding your niche helps to stop the endless dilly-dallying that leads to confusion and one of the ways to finding your niche this year is to identify your passions and interests. Make a list of the things that you’re passionate about, this doesn’t necessarily mean that you will find a perfect fit immediately but through perseverance, you will get there.

Here are a few prompts to help you determine what your passions and interest are:

How do you like to spend your free time? What do you look forward to doing when you aren't doing it?
What magazines do you subscribe to? What topics do you like to learn about most?
What clubs or organizations do you belong to?

After, making a list of your passions and interest and have picked one or two that you will like to grow and expand another thing to do is to find a void that you will like to fill and how well you can flourish thereby making the necessary research and if peradventure this niche of yours is a business pursuit then the next thing to is to figure out how viable and profitable this niche is.

Now that you have armed yourself with all the information you need, the only thing left to do is to test your idea by launching out to do the impossible and this can be done severally till you finally get it right.

Final thoughts

Once you've confirmed the viability of your niche, start developing ways where others can benefit from it or ways in which it can be profitable to you and that might require you to either create a full-fledged website or to create a blog.

But, do keep in mind that there isn't necessarily a perfect process for finding a niche. You'll want to do your homework, but if you get stuck in the planning phase, the most important thing is to try again.

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Letter to my Older Self

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Dear Singles,

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