I cant remember anyone while growing up around me who embraced the idea of having natural hair.

Natural hair was scorned and majority of those who had it on, couldn't wait to add relaxers on it. It was not like having it at that time was totally a bad idea but it wasn't entirely accepted. A lot of folks would quickly term a girl with natural hair has been a spiritual sort of person, someone who knew God on a more intimate level and then put the girl whose hair has already been retouched as a bad girl, it was all about labelling people by putting them in boxes.

In those days, they were not even called 'Natural hair' but 'Virgin hair' and so once retouched they say you have dis-virgined your hair. its begs to question whoever coined such nonsense.

A lot of young girls couldn't wait to retouch their hair including me whenever time and opportunity presented itself. One good reason was that there was little or no information about it and as such a lot of people didn't know how to appreciate it.

We saw the hair as something painful, more like a burden and a curse and something to get rid off quickly and so the relaxers came in. Another thing, was majority of the hair salons at that time didn't also help the situation - you walk in to the salon to fix your hair and next thing the hairdresser is asking you, why your hair is still retouched and how you should be thinking about putting relaxer in it.

This is not to in anyway to talk down on those who have chosen and will still choose to retouch their hair either by choosing to make it softer or by texturizing it.

I remember having a discus about relaxers with my mum while I was still retouching my hair and she said before the advent of relaxers there were stuffs called  'Hot comb' or better still 'Stretching comb'. She explained that these combs were put in hot substances and were then now used to comb the hair while still hot, this process would in turn help in stretching the hair, removing the kinky curls and puffiness even though this change would only last for a short while and then the hair is back to its original state. She stressed that this process also had consequences because if the hot comb is not applied on the hair with the right amount of heat then with so much heat the hair could catch fire and burn. Yet, a lot of young ladies and women during her time where not deterred by this, they wanted what they wanted by damning the consequences.

The thing is even with the positive natural hair movement going on, a lot of folks still say that their hair can still be healthy even with the relaxers in it while others argue that it cannot thereby creating a back and forth thing. This post is not in anyway to argue about whether your hair is healthy or not neither is it here to tell you about the what not of relaxers and texturizers but that you should be accepting of your hair and the intricacies that come with it.

This post is to tell you that whichever journey you choose for your hair and yourself you should make sure that you the one telling your story, not the stories that shaped us in the past making us think less of what we were given but redefining who we are by making new histories by loving and embracing it because it is yours. Therefore, own it.

It’s very easy to get discouraged when looking for new opportunities either as a graduate or someone looking to start afresh in another professional field after several applications has been submitted to different companies.

I remember applying for a job role in a multinational company and how excited I got when I received news that I had been invited to write a test and then also interviewed with them after the success of the test… Let me quickly add that of everyone who was invited for the test, I was the only one invited for the interview. However, my disappointment knew no bounds when I got news that I didn’t make it to the next stage which was the final stage.

The thing is after going through all the stages listed above which took several weeks and then receiving news that I could not proceed to the stage that would secure the employment, there’s definitely going to be disappointment which could lead to frustration and discouragement which could in turn cause one to deviate from his/her set goals.

Was I disappointed? Yes

When it comes to mind does it bother me? Sometimes.

Why? Because I put in my time, effort, studied towards it and expected nothing but the best.

However, one thing I have realized is that on the way to the top, there will be situations like these and several others, which would make me question several things like, whether I did something right or not, or perhaps said something or omitted, things that would sow thoughts that I might not be enough or maybe I did something in excess, but I remind myself daily to keep at it no matter how difficult it seems.

Therefore, I keep pursuing till I achieve my aim, reminding myself as I go that its okay not to get it the first time as long as I keep trying.

The other day on my way back from work while sitting in the bus waiting for it to get filled, I had the opportunity to watch the exchange of two young women having a brawl. One of the women accused the other lady of not giving her are complete change after she gave her the sum of N1000, lets call them lady A and lady B for emphasis sake; so lady A accuses lady B of not giving her back are change and so the fight ensued.

They argued, fought and if you know any African market particularly Nigeria the fight isn't complete without some cussing, and so the curses came in full barrels with lots of gesticulation. Lady A even though backing a baby yet oblivious to that very act shook her body rigorously, raised her voice and swore to the ends of the earth and in between there were stuffs like" if these so called curses does not happen to you then I am not who I say I am. of course, Lady B did her best in reiterating back the curses but the question is how effective are these things.

 In Africa, Nigeria to be precise curses are not taken likely. In fact, in most of the cultural movies done here we see the effect of curses and the roles they play even in generations yet unborn. Our story tellers tell us of events that had taken place times even before we were born and our the consequence's are the effects we see today because of the curses that were placed. Culture would even tell you that depending on the severity of the curse and the circumstances in which they were placed would be a factor to determine how the curses would be removed.

Therefore, even as I sat in the bus looking at the exchange of words been taking out by these two young women, I wondered at the consequences of their action because these young women seem to be very culturally people and even though some people might not believe in curses we have often heard that "what you believe works for you".


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At the Vibration or the normal ring tone of a phone ; the mind jolts expecially one who has been on the other end waiting or expecting an important Call or message to come through. This joltness brings the five senses back to life ; the mind sends a Quick response to the brain , the brain then informs the heart in a loud clear whisper and with a rush of speed faster than the speed of light the hand races to the phone. At this point two things happen :-

So this is it;Its exactly a week today that i heard about the death of my second Dad. Today which is the wake-keeping.
Oh! Death where is thy Sting??? Oh! Daddy;Words fail me right now to just describe how much you mean to me.One thing am eternally gratefull for Is that you died in the lord;such Comfort that we will see again.
Life is just too short for frivolities;rather do all that you need to do now,because time is ticking fast & you cant just never tell who is next;for all shall stand before God....